The Phantom Menace: Not As Cool (Or Fun) As It Looks
by Spinjitzugirl6310
Summary: When Teenage Genius Alex creates a machine that will allow her to enter ANY fictional world at any time, she puts it to good use, sending herself into the crazy world of Star Wars, at the time of the Republic, soon before the Chosen One is revealed... Humor/sci-fi/adventure maybe other things.
1. Chapter 1

**In no way shape or form do I own Star Wars or it's characters.**

I guess I'll start with basics.

Hi.

I am Alexandria. Everyone I like calls me Alex, so I guess you all can too.

I am sure that if you are reading this, you saw the title, and have hopefully seen the movie, so you know what I am blabbing about.

A few months ago, I tried an experiment. I was a science nerd, and a techy kid. (I'm around sixteen to twenty, but I'm not going into details, ok?) I built a machine that would enable me to program it to travel into ANY world, Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, even some Superhero stuff.

It was for the Ultimate Geek, meaning me.

I decided to try it out by starting with Star Wars, The Phantom Menace.

I read up on the Movie, worlds, and languages.

"Aargh!" (Greetings in Tusken)

I hopped into the machine, and hit the button.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
Thus started my adventure.

I fell out of the starship at the beginning of the movie, wearing Jedi robes. I was just in time to see Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan turn a corner. I race-walked after them.

The thing about my story.

I could BECOME certain characters, if I wanted. I was given selected powers. I had chosen a Jedi, and was equipped with a lightsaber and the Force.

The Force! The thought of being a Jedi sent shivers down my spine. As I ducked behind a piece of equipment, I saw Qui-Gon turn.

"Come out," He told me. "I can sense you." I walked out from behind it, a bit red faced.

"Who are you?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Nira Lurkum," I told him. "I must have tumbled into the wrong ship."

"Ah."  
Something told me that they didn't buy it.

"Seriously guys, I'm telling the truth. I haven't been picked as a Padawan yet, is all!"  
Silence.

"Could I come with you? I won't get in the way and I'll help, I swear!"

Qui-Gon sighed. "Come on."

I heard Obi-Wan say something about pathetic life forms, but hey.

I'm not about to pick a fight with OBI-WAN KENOBI.

I'm not a COMPLETE idiot.

I gripped the lightsaber in my belt as the droids rolled in.

"Whoa!" I ducked a blaster bolt, and flipped the weapon out into my hand. I activated it, hoping that I wouldn't slice any limbs of the good guys off.

I winced as I swung the blade upwards, deflecting a blaster bolt, to my astonishment.

"EEP!"

I dodged another light-bullet.

Qui-Gon began cutting through the doors.

Obi-Wan used FORCE SPEED.

It's super effective?

I dove to the floor, taking a droid with me, and rolled under some more blaster fire.

Then the little destroyer droids rolled out.

"Oh no."

We batted the bolts away, trying our best to not die. Soon, Qui-Gon finished and we got through safely.

I could not believe I had done that.


	2. Chapter 2

"Phew," I wiped my forehead. "Done! Now what?" I screeched to a halt behind the two Jedi, who were peering into the docking bay. I looked around the corner too. "Oh," I said quietly. It was full of droids.

"You were right about one thing, Master," Obi-Wan said. "The communications _were_ short."

_Smartie, _I thought, pulling my now blue hair into a ponytail.

"Can we get past them?" I whispered. Qui-Gon was already moving. I drew my lightsaber, (Blue) and joined Obi-Wan on the floor, wiping out battle droids. I tried to see if I could summon the force.

Boy, I felt **something.**

I sent a bunch of droids rocketing across the room. I fell backward, surprised. The Force was strong with me, then. Midi-Chlorians were plentiful, I guess.

We stowed away.

In a ship.

To Naboo.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

It was kind of a suspenseful trip. Upon our arrival, I witnessed a historical moment, one that would change Star Wars forever: Qui-Gon saved a Gungan named Jar-Jar Binks. Of course, he was impossible to shake off. He was now "at our service". We asked him to take us to the Gungan city, Otoh Gunga. He said no, at first.

"Do you hear that?" Qui-Gon asked. We listened to a faint rumbling in the distance.

"Yeah," Jar-Jar said.

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way," Qui-Gon told him solemnly.

"If and when they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces and blast us into oblivion!" Obi-Wan emphasized. I stifled a giggle at Jar-Jar's face.

"Hmmm... yousa point is well seen. This way. Hurry!"

I had a rebreather with me, so I was not as dead as I thought I was. As we dove under the water on our way to Otoh Gunga, I wondered absently what would happen with the story with me in it. As we entered the city, Jar-Jar got us to Boss Nass. More or less.

"Hey, you-sa! Stop-pa dere!" It was Captain Tarpals.

"Hey yo, Daddy, Captain Tarpals. Mesa back," Jar-Jar said.

"No-ah 'gain, Jar Jar. You-sa goin' to da Bosses. You-sa in big doo-doo dis time!" Jar-Jar was then shocked by a spear.

"Yipe! How wude!"

Boss Nass wouldn't help the people of Naboo. He did, however, give us transport, a bongo submarine.

Qui-Gon took Jar-Jar with us. Obi-Wan and I were not thrilled, but I knew it was necessary and Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon was in charge of this mission.

Our submarine looked like a manta ray. We got into it, and I braced myself for everything in the world to go wrong.

If you guys remember, I wasn't disappointed.

"Dis is nutsen," Jar-Jar complained. "Oh, Gooberfish!"  
I put my head in my hands.

"Why were you banished, Jar-Jar?" Obi-Wan asked him.

"It's a longo taleo buta small part of it would be mesa... clumsy."

"You were banished because you were clumsy?"

"Yousa might'n be sayin dat. Mesa cause one, two-y little bitty axadentes, huh? Yud say boom de gasser, den crashin der bosses heyblibber, den banished."

I shook my head and Obi-Wan and I shared an annoyed glance. Qui-Gon made no comment.

Then we were grabbed by an Opee sea killer.

All of us (With the exception of Qui-Gon) started to freak out a little. It damaged our little submersible, and then was attacked and eaten by a Sando aqua monster.

"There's always a bigger fish," Qui-Gon said.

"Weesa gonna die in here," Jar-Jar said desperately.

"We're not in trouble yet," Qui-Gon assured him.

"Monsters out there, leaking in here. Weesa all sinking and no power. Whena yousa thinking we are in trouble?"

A Colo claw fish then decided to chase us. Sando aqua monster, (Who I mentally named Jerry) ate him too. Then chased us. I have no idea how we survived, but we did. We just made it to the surface alive, and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm alive," I said gratefully. We climbed out and successfully made it to Theed.

Now the hard part started.


End file.
